drained

In an effort to keep me from having too much fun in my free time, I have to submit to random drug testing at work. This is primarily so that we don't have cracked out bus drivers, but even lil' old me in the trailer has to take the tests too. Usually you have to get tested after a major workplace accident as well, but they didn't make me when I wrecked the explorer (which I never got any discipline from, just a bunch of people giving me shit). Sometime the test is a urine test, sometimes it's a breathalyzer, sometimes both. I've been tested twice in the 2.5 years I've worked here, with yesterday being the second time.

While I was in my office tending to my own personal business, I was rudely interrupted and told to go to building 2 for poking and prodding. I didn't think I had gone in a while, so I figured it would be a cakewalk. Go in, give your name and other info and then proceed to the pissing. The urine handler gives a cup that he drew a line that you must fill the cup to. The guy looks like a really skinny Mike Lanyon. I go to the women's bathroom in the garage (designated pissing room) and proceed to get down to business. After getting about a third of the way to the line on the cup, the pipes run dry. Fuck me. Where'd ya go my golden stream? Since I can't perform to standards. I must wait in the driver's lounge until I can go. I can't leave the area, for I might try and spike the test. Now I get to stand around while coworkers walk to and fro asking what I'm doing. "How's it going?" "Not too bad. I can't pee enough. Look at me, standing here like a doofus and going to the water fountain every two minutes."

After forcing enough cold water down my gullet to make my stomach hurt, I finally felt I had enough in me for a solid performance. I was worried when I went for the second try, because I sure as hell didn't want to stand around any more. And did I have enough! I got to that line and kept on going. I should have filled it to the brim and handed it to the urine handler. It would have been funny watching him have to tiptoe back to his table trying not to spill my piss all over his hand. It's a different job he's got for sure. It seems like he gets paid well though. So that's it. Mission Complete! I didn't have to take a breathalyzer, so I was mildly disappointed. I was hydrated though, and couldn't stay out of the bathroom for more than 30 minutes at a time for the rest of the day.

I've got it (relatively) good.

Dawson and I felt like poo on wednesday night, so we opted for an aimless, unstructured ride with no boundaries. We ended up heading northwest of E-ville, and saw the sky go from bright and sunny to dark and ominous in a matter of minutes. By the time we found a road to take us home the winds had picked up tremendously and allowed us to head south at 34mph with minimal effort. That is, until they became 40mph gusting crosswinds. Since Matt was borrowing my airfoil of a giant fork, he was having a harder time in the crosswinds than I. We made it back to town just as the power flickered off. I rode home among lightning and tornado sirens. Crazy fun. B's power was off all night, so I had to help her pack for her trip with flashlights and candles. Dinner by candlelight isn't as romantic when it's stifling hot in the house and there's no ventilation. Still fun, but not the same.

As I headed west to work on Thursday I found out that Granite City had it pretty bad. We have huge backup generators at work, but since I'm a bastard child there, we don't get any of that backup power in the trailer. I was heading out to go drive around and gps some things when we got the call to help evacuate a nursing home that had over 100 residents in wheelchairs and no power. We have several types of buses that can hold lots of people, but when those people can't leave their wheelchairs we can only take four people at a time. The residents were taken to a location in Granite City that had air conditioning so that they wouldn't have such a hard time. They had already had to go the previous night without power, and three residents had gone to the hospital. It must have been as confusing and exhausting of an ordeal for them as it was for us.

By the time we finshed evacuating the nursing home the driver I was with got a call to pick up a disabled person and take her to a local cooling station. Usually are services begin at their front door and end at the door of their destination. Thus we call it a 'door-to-door' service. This lady was severely immobile and could barely get out of bed. She lived alone and did have visiting nurses that came by for a few hours at a time, but they would have been of little use in an emergency. The reality of the situation was that this lady probably shouldn't be living alone anymore and would be better off in an assisted living situation. I can imagine it would be a hard hit to the pride to give up your independence at home, but when you're already relying on others to take care of you all the time, why not make it a little easier on those that are helping you. It's easy for me to say that t hough, because I'm not in her situation. I'm sure I'll be just as stubborn when my time comes. Hell, look at Steve Hall now.

It was a miserable ride last night. I came home and passed out as soon as I crammed some burrito down my gullet. But I was able to pass out in the cold a/c while watching Floyd Landis put his man stamp on everybody at the tour. Which means I've got it good. However, there were no virgins feeding me grapes and fanning me with palm leaves while I lay there, so the goodness is only relative. It could be better.

Four seconds

I got three of these now. Weep, bitches. Weep in the sorrow of your inferiority.

Mustered up the inner strength to do the Tour de Donut on Saturday morning. I ended up using Andy Gibb's number since he couldn't show and there is no race day registration. It was great to see a bunch of racers show up just to fuck off for a day. Ranek brought a boatload of domestiques with him to clench an adjusted time victory. BVD, lil' gary, and Dick Racer showed up, as well as Zach Reed. Reed was racing under the name of Thomas Rose, but he was riding stealth since he didn't pin his number on. I don't think they were expecting a sprint finish at the donut race when Thomas Rose and Andy Gibbs came tearing down the final stretch and into the chute. We didn't know where the exact finish line was, so it was agreed that Andy Gibbs had taken the championship. After a photo was found later it turned out Thomas Rose was actually first across the imaginary finish line and Andy Gibbs was second. It wasn't worth the hassle of talking to the promoter to change the results though, plus that son'bitch Rose (Reed) didn't eat any donuts and I had crammed two down my gullet. Ranek had twenty circles of glazed heaven, and a filthy, glazing encrusted brake lever to prove it. Impressive, but there was a dude that ate 25 and didn't have a herd to push him up the hills.

Rolled down to Carbondale that afternoon for some summercross. I was tired. The sun hurts my precious skin. I shoulda worn sunscreen. In the short track Pease tried to take me out in the first set of barriers. I got the first two primes and then faded back. Got stung in the loin by a bee during the race, but so did about five other people. Finished second. There weren't a lot of competitors, but it was still as tough as you wanted to make it. Sampled some of Winston's bagels later that night. Tasty. I think it's the charoal grill that adds all the flavor. Drank PBR. Good stuff, as always.

After a shitty night's sleep it was time for the TT and CX race. After sweating my nuts off helping set up the course it was time to get dressed and sit around, putting off any warm up. Nate Rice showed up to school us, so I ended up second. Sat around until cx time eating powerbars and wasting time. Local media came out for the cross race with camera and video. That gave us some extra motivation to look good on the course, which became miserable after a while. I ran up front for a while until Rice tired of lollygagging at the back. He then proceeded to catch me, ride in front of me, and roll off the front with ease in the matter of three laps. Pease came up too, but faded. This put me in position for my fourth and final second place of the weekend. I ended up with the omnium for the Pabst Cup as a reward for my efforts. Consistency baby!

Went to the local fine dining establishment of Ponderosa afterwards, and saw the finest Kentucky Waterfall mullet God ever created. It was pure beauty. The curls started on top and cascaded and flowed all the way down to the dude's ass. It even came packaged with a white linen suit. Pure class.

Smells kinda fishy

Usually it's pretty nice to live in a house that's right next to a park. Even nicer if that park has a nice little lake. Not so for the residents that live near Leclaire Lake Park in Edwardsville this summer. Thankfully I live down the road from this park and not next to it. You see, over time the lake has silted in and the shoreline is eroding pretty badly too. So this summer the city (with the help of a state grant) is dredging the lake and improving the shoreline. It took about 2 weeks to pump out the lake. Turns out the damn thing was only about 2-3 feet deep in most places. The city made an effort to remove some fish, but they didn't get them all. Apparently there were some big'uns in there. When I rode past yesterday evening I thought I saw a big hose in the lake bed. Turns out it was about ten or twelve big fish that didn't get caught so now they're just going to rot in the sun. Lots of little ones too.

When I was coming back home from driving all over StL last night, I was able to smell the rottenness from 1/3 mile away. Sure must suck to live next door to the lake right now.




In other news, yesterday was my third consecutive day of riding. Woo hoo! Looking forward to racing some cyclocross in Carbondale this weekend. I miss my cross bike. We rode a bunch of singletrack on it Tuesday, and my triceps are still a bit sore from that. Amazingly, I'm not dead from all of last nights run ups. Those hurt.
I bought my four wheeled baby some new shoes this week. She rolls a lot quieter now. In the future I think I'll pay more attention to routine maintenance and rotate them tires more often.