Four seconds

I got three of these now. Weep, bitches. Weep in the sorrow of your inferiority.

Mustered up the inner strength to do the Tour de Donut on Saturday morning. I ended up using Andy Gibb's number since he couldn't show and there is no race day registration. It was great to see a bunch of racers show up just to fuck off for a day. Ranek brought a boatload of domestiques with him to clench an adjusted time victory. BVD, lil' gary, and Dick Racer showed up, as well as Zach Reed. Reed was racing under the name of Thomas Rose, but he was riding stealth since he didn't pin his number on. I don't think they were expecting a sprint finish at the donut race when Thomas Rose and Andy Gibbs came tearing down the final stretch and into the chute. We didn't know where the exact finish line was, so it was agreed that Andy Gibbs had taken the championship. After a photo was found later it turned out Thomas Rose was actually first across the imaginary finish line and Andy Gibbs was second. It wasn't worth the hassle of talking to the promoter to change the results though, plus that son'bitch Rose (Reed) didn't eat any donuts and I had crammed two down my gullet. Ranek had twenty circles of glazed heaven, and a filthy, glazing encrusted brake lever to prove it. Impressive, but there was a dude that ate 25 and didn't have a herd to push him up the hills.

Rolled down to Carbondale that afternoon for some summercross. I was tired. The sun hurts my precious skin. I shoulda worn sunscreen. In the short track Pease tried to take me out in the first set of barriers. I got the first two primes and then faded back. Got stung in the loin by a bee during the race, but so did about five other people. Finished second. There weren't a lot of competitors, but it was still as tough as you wanted to make it. Sampled some of Winston's bagels later that night. Tasty. I think it's the charoal grill that adds all the flavor. Drank PBR. Good stuff, as always.

After a shitty night's sleep it was time for the TT and CX race. After sweating my nuts off helping set up the course it was time to get dressed and sit around, putting off any warm up. Nate Rice showed up to school us, so I ended up second. Sat around until cx time eating powerbars and wasting time. Local media came out for the cross race with camera and video. That gave us some extra motivation to look good on the course, which became miserable after a while. I ran up front for a while until Rice tired of lollygagging at the back. He then proceeded to catch me, ride in front of me, and roll off the front with ease in the matter of three laps. Pease came up too, but faded. This put me in position for my fourth and final second place of the weekend. I ended up with the omnium for the Pabst Cup as a reward for my efforts. Consistency baby!

Went to the local fine dining establishment of Ponderosa afterwards, and saw the finest Kentucky Waterfall mullet God ever created. It was pure beauty. The curls started on top and cascaded and flowed all the way down to the dude's ass. It even came packaged with a white linen suit. Pure class.