Straight to the junkyard.

We're less one 1993 Ford Exploder at work. No thanks to you know who. Until today, I'd never broken a windshield with my forehead. Until today.


Smell ya later.

rekindling the flame

Took the cross bike out last night. It's been a while since we've spent some quality time together, so at first things felt a little awkward. But after a few minor adjustments and a few miles, it was as if we'd never been apart. Yup, she still hurts me sometimes. Yup, I don't always treat with as much respect as I should. She can be finicky sometimes. Oh well, that's why I love her. We've got a date coming up, so I need to brush up on a few of my skills. You know, riding her good and hard, smooth mounting, finessing the curves, and knowing just the right moment to slow it down.

Last night was the summer solstice, the day of the year when the sun is up the longest. Dawson and I had planned to ride out to Whiteside Hill and pop a few cold ones as the sun went down. It was kind of hazy, so there wasn't much direct sunlight. Also, since the sun is at its most northward point, sunset was more over Wood River than Granite City. This meant that the sun was partially blocked by the trees. I hadn't given that much thought until the last minute. It was still good though. There's a small graveyard up there too, dating from the mid 1800's. They've got a beautiful resting spot.

I had to teach some orienteering skills to Gibbs & Co the other night so that they might not get too lost in their adventure race on Saturday. I think they'll be alright; it seems like the promoters are making the orienteering part of the course pretty easy anyway. If I can muster up the motivation, I'll probably ride my bike out to Highland on Saturday to watch them for a bit.

Gonna do the Calhoun ride on Sunday. It'll be fun. I might not do so hot on the steep stuff, but I'll be sure to get a good workout in. I wouldn't mind racing, but right now I'd rather save my money for real things. Of course you have to pay to play, and you can't win if you don't try, but I'm just not feeling it right now. I'm all about the hard training though. Hopefully I'll find a nice garden hose on one of my rides and be able to wash this sand out of my pussy and really want to race hard soon.

After while, pedophiles.

Yesteryear

Looking at camp from the point.

Back in what sometimes feels like another life, I spent at least some part of my summers at my local boy scout camp. For me, this was Camp Sunnen outside of Potosi , MO. It wasn't very local to me, but our this was the camp that our council owned. Besides, the area and terrain down there is much better for a scout camp than the local cornfields.

I'll admit that as a youth, I was somewhat embarrassed to be a boy scout. Not that I didn't like being one, but just that it wasn't the cool thing to do socially. Today, I am very proud of what I have accomplished, the friends I have made and the places I have gone through scouting. Just don't expect and eighth grade version of me to get up in front of class and try and tell everyone how cool boy scouts are.

I got involved with scouting when I was 5 years old as a Tiger Cub. I don't remember much of what I did. My parents signed me up for it. I am not sure if I was a willing participant or not. I went through the normal progression of cub scouts and then followed moved on to the ranks of boy scouts. The big leagues. Camping, merit badges, planning your own adventures instead of your parents doing it for you.

Once in boy scouts, I started going to weeklong summer camp every year. This started in 1992. At summer camp you could earn merit badges, explore, and goof off. You also learned some responsibilities. You and your patrol had to cook and clean up after yourselves for every breakfast and dinner. You had to show up to merit badge class on time and complete your requirements before the week was through. Of course there were still adults around to make sure you didn't fuck up too much. Sometimes overbearing parents stayed all week to make sure their model children were on the right track to severe burnout. One time this kid had such a busy schedule at camp (because his father made him) that he didn't have enough time to make it to the latrine so he shit in his tent. It was fantastic. I can still hear his dad yelling across the campsite, "Robert, have you taken your diarrhea pills?"

I went to Camp Sunnen as a camper for 5 years. Every year I had a little more responsibility in the campsite making sure that everything went smoothly. Every year we had new first-year scouts that always had some unique problem during their first stay at camp. My troop also had some members that worked on staff at the camp for the summer. As a camper you look up to the staff tremendously. These are older scouts (16+) that always seem to be having a good time, no matter what they are doing. They taught the merit badge classes and were always hard at work, but still finding plenty of time to goof off and screw around. And they got to stay in cabins. They were like gods to the campers.

In 1997, I decided that I wanted to work on camp staff. This would end up being my summer job for the next 4 years. We only worked for about 5 weeks each summer, but those weeks were the greatest part of my teenage years. Working on staff was great. We were responsible for giving all campers an excellent week of camp when they were there. Not only did we provide learning and advancement opportunities for the campers, but we were the entertainment as well. And I had a blast, hardly ever realizing that what I was doing was actually a job. It also gave you a chance to be yourself without anyone to give you much grief about it. As staff members, we had to eat with a troop for breakfast and dinner every day. They cooked. On monday mornings (their first meal) it was always a rush to the bathroom afterwards. As the week progressed, so did their cooking skills. By the end of the week you developed a bond with the kids you were eating with. They were always full of questions about what you do and how things are, and looking back on it I realize how cool I probably seemed to them. One time one of the campers in the troop I was eating with came up to me and asked me why none of the kids back at his school were as cool as I was. Me? I thought I was just a big dork boy scout. But to this guy, I was somebody. As it turns out I was a somebody to many kids that came to beautiful Camp Sunnen, I just didn't know it at the time. Now that I do it means a lot to me.

As staff, we made the best of our free time. Burning shit. Shooting bb guns at each other. Shooting slingshots at each other. Shooting fireworks at each other. Smoking cigarettes in your cabin. Playing the shit out of goldeneye and mario kart. Going to town on the weekend and hitting up wal-mart, pizza hut and sometimes the movie theater. Making fun of the locals.

Of course, if you do something long enough something will make you tired of it. Every summer during my years it was the same core group of guys working. We were close friends, and close to the camp. But in charge of everything was politics, economics and adults. The youth versus the evil adults. The adults in charge of the council and camp wanted to make money from the camp instead of breaking even. Our fires were too big and unsafe. Bullshit this and bullshit that. After 2000, no one wanted much to go back and work there. A few of us put up with the crap and went back to work another summer of two. But things were different. More business like. Not as much free time for campers or staff. Not as much fun.

That said, Camp Sunnen still means a lot to me. I have always talked about it fondly. Last week I had the chance to take Bridgette down and show here something that is special to me. I showed her around and told her stories of this and that, and most of them involved me getting in trouble for something or other. Some things are in disrepair, and other things are fresh and new. I missed the place. It's not the same anymore, but it still is.

Mountain Man cabin-it was bad when I left, but this is worse.

Entrance to the mud cave

This used to be wal-mart. Now Potosi has a new super wal-mart

Blogservations

I've been using the next blog tool to see what else is out there. Generally not much. Most people suck. The breakdown of what I have found:

50% Blogs in a foreign language

20% Heavy religious content (they all tend to use the same template with a lighthouse on it)

20% Heavy political content (the most annoying blogs of all)

7% Normal blogs

3% Sports related blogs

Attention all foreign language bloggers! I can't understand your shit!

Attention all hyper-religious bloggers! Your lives seem more lame than mine! Wow!

Attention all political bloggers! Is that all you fucking think about? Why aren't you president?

Attention all normal bloggers! Good job not sucking as bad as 90% of the blog world!

Hey sports bloggers! How come you only talk about watching sports and sports statistics and never seem to participate? Cycling seems to be the only blog-sphere where people actually participate in the sport they blog about.


I watched Lucky Louie last night on HBO. It looked alright on the previews, but they didn't let on to how much the show revolved around sex. That's ok with me. The acting is mediocre and it was made on the cheap, but it's got some funny moments. I prefer Curb Your Enthusiasm, but this show will be alright.

Monday Morning Blog-a-thon

What did you do this weekend? I saved the world from imminent doom and total destruction. How? By doing nothing of consequence for the whole weekend. You see, if I would have tried harder, or been successful, I would have become greedy with the resultant power, success and incredible sexual prowess. Then I would have eventually taken over the world. And when you rule the world, what happens? You kill things. Lots of things. Look at god. He rules the world, and he kills shit all the time. So by avoiding taking the necessary steps and not filing the necessary paperwork, I have temporarily thwarted my plans for world chaos. Everybody should thank me right now.



Friday night I helped set up the TT course. Woohoo. Saturday I worked at said TT course. Clubbers are now the current Mills Apple Farm TTT world champions. Even though our TTT time was much slower than 'Druber's blazing individual time. And we were the only entry in the A race. But you've only got to beat who shows up. As soon as we finished out ride, the heavens fell on us. Hard. Like an Acme brand anvil on Wile E. Coyote.

Made it just in time to the Tom Petty concert to get a warm beer and no pretzels. His music and lyrics are pretty simple, but good. And he has a funny voice. And some drunk girl fell and nearly punched me in the nuts. Her excuse? "I tripped over my feet."I think I spent as much time trying to get out of the parking lot after the concert as I did at the concert. I should bring a cooler full of beer to the concert just so I can sell it in the parking lot afterwards.

Made it to the Winghaven race in time to watch the kids races. These races are what allow us to have the big boy races. Otherwise we're just a bunch of assholes that want to close the roads for no good reason and don't say thank you often enough.

It seems the Clubbers have been making a bad(?) habit of having just as many racers at the race who are not racing as there are Clubbers who are racing. With Andy (2nd place cat 3) and me (King DNF) racing that meant that Dawson (stye in the eye) and Shoemaker (hangover with a story to tell) had a green light for sitting on the sidelines. Of course, this can also be seen that we're not too pussy to come to a race even if we ain't racing it. Cause races need spectators. Also, it can be seen that we are multi-dimensional. You see, we drink at least as hard as we ride, if not harder. And we talk trash on each other even harder than that. Come by our tent next time for some minor verbal assault. Or we're just a bunch of alcoholics that liked riding our bikes to the bar so much we sometimes ride even without the liquor.

While cleaning my bike before the race I found a 1.5 inch crack in my rim. That's probably why it doesn't stay very true anymore. So I cornered one of my campy-equiped brethren and got him to loan me a wheel. Later in the race I watched as the loan shark (Johnny Merli) took to the other side of the roundabout so he could empty his stomach on the course. It was pretty fun to watch. It was fun, until I was behind him on next uphill and I got hit with a large splash of something wet. I thought he was throwing up on me. Echhh. As it turns out, someone was throwing water on the riders and I was coincidentally in the wrong place at the wrong time. It freaked me out for a moment thinking I had puke all over me. I kept smelling my gloves and looking at my legs trying to reassure myself it was just water. Later on, I got dropped.

I think I'm going to start saving it all for cyclocross. Anybody want to go to Colorado with me?

A Tail of Two Puppies

Name: Otter
Who's dog is it?: My dog
Fur: Long and Black, just how I like it.
Canine since: 2002
Sex: Neuter
Body type: Thick
Likes: Swimming, rawhide chews, eating.
Loves: Attention, belly rubs.
Dislikes: Fireworks, guns.
Good at: Getting attention from the ladies, not getting in the way, getting shit stuck in his fur.
Faults: No matter how much his diet is controlled, he always finds a way to gain weight
Quote: "You know that place PetSmart? Yeah, I go in there."
Communicates with: Short barks
Sleeps: On his back
Eating style: All at once
Intelligence: Seemingly high




Name: Moose

Who's dog is it?: My sister's dog
Fur: Short and brown.
Canine since: 2004
Sex: Neuter
Body type: Thin
Likes: Getting in the way, being confused.
Loves: Chewing on Otter's collar, treeing squirrels.
Dislikes: Things that move, things that make noise.
Good at: Shaking hands, being the one first out the door.
Faults: Always underfoot, doesn't understand the concept of fetch.
Quote: "Dog food? Nah, I'll wait for steak."
Communicates with: Howls
Sleeps: Curled up
Eating style: Take a mouthful of food and then go lay behind the recliner, all the while walking with an open mouth and dropping half his food on the floor.
Intelligence: Acts like he's high

e-townz

Edwardzville suckz sometimez. On Friday they stopped serving at 11:30. When I walked up at 11:32, they had already given the leftover beer to B'z downstairz neighborz who had set up camp next to the beer tent. That left me with two beer ticketz. So we goed to the bar. I've been picking up the habit of playing with matchez recently. It'z fun. They're free at the bar, courtesy of the Bank of Edwardzville. Then we went to the lamest party ever. All the chubby emo kidz looked at us funny when we piled our bikez in the bushez, and then they shuffled around in their tight darkwash jeans and cool retro t-shirtz mumbling to themselvez. The next night we got to the festival at 9pm and they had just clozed up shop at the beer tent again due to the weather. This iz how they fundraize in e-ville. Sell ticketz and then go home early. Zydeco Crawdaddys waz playing at Stagger, and they were pretty fun. A man waz playing the spoonz. I've gotta get me a bowl of that crawfish stew.

Don't ride your bike through town in Bethalto. Or Rozewood Heightz. They don't like us. You'd have a warmer reception trying to steal one of their sizter/girlfriendz or shooting the tirez out on their monster truckz than coming through town on a bicycle.

Somehow I pulled a muscle in my chezt. It hurtz occazionally. Real bad. Othertimez it'z hardly noticeable. It doezn't hurt too much when I ride, but I think I'll take it e-z for a few dayz just in case. Doctor B'z orderz. She came back from a foray to North Carolina and told me whatz up. I'm glad to have her back.

In regional newz, there'z another e-town that sucked it up pretty bad thiz weekend, the bustling metropoliz of Effingham. Az my sizter and her boytoy Chad were coming into town, proceeding straight through a green light, a lady in the oncoming lane made a left turn in to Chad'z Jeep. He'z only had it for about two weekz. It'z pretty messed up now. I guess the rulez of the road are different up there.

z-ya later, fornicator

'splorin

I decided I didn't want to ride around Edwardsville wednesday night, so I headed towards Alton instead. I left straight from work, and promptly got stopped by a train for 6 minutes. Joy. Car exhaust and hot pavement. All of the hopper cars on the train were brand new and shiny, so it made me smile to see that some graffiti artists had already tagged one of the cars. It was a decent headwind from the north, so the ride to Alton on the levee wore me down pretty quick. Here's the Lewis and Clark Memorial Tower, under construction as it has been for the past few years.
The city of Hartford just received $1 million from the state of Illinois to finish the tower. Then visitors will be able to go up a whopping 150' to overlook the confluence of the Mississippi and Missouri rivers to the west, and the beautiful refineries of Hartford and Roxana to the east.

After much grinding and gnashing on the levee, I finally made it to Alton. I had three steep climbs in mind, and planned to do each of them twice. Planned. After the first circuit, I decided once was enough.

First I went up third street heading east. (My compass gets messed up when I go to Alton because although I think I'm heading north, I'm going more west around the riverbend.)

I looped around and then went up the bricked climb on 4th street, heading west. This one is tiered, with the second tier a little more demoralizing than the first.

The view from the top is pretty nice.

The third climb was up State St going north. I was pooped and it was steep.

Then I rolled through Alton and on towards Bethalto on some backroads. It was quite pleasant.

Look! A baby interstate!

I hate trying to post multiple photos. I had several other things to say, but the frustration in getting my photos to load has taken away all joy that occured on this ride. Instead I sit here exasperated in a puddle of self-pity and loathing, wishing I were Amish and had never tried to embrace technology. Then I could have a cool beard and make good food, and I would also know how to raise a barn good and proper.

I'm done.

Back in the saddle

I finally started riding to work again. It's been nearly a month since I've ridden in. My goal has been to average 3 days a week of commuting via chain drive all year, but something happened in May and I don't know why. So far I'm 2 for 2 this week. I'm aiming for all 5 days to make up for lost time. It's actually been pretty easy getting up early with all of the daylight in my room.

Route 66 festival in Edwardsville this weekend. They're having a washers tournament and 'Festival 66 Idol' !! Wowzers!! Some other things do look interesting so I'll probably go by and check it out. It's not like I have anything better to do anyways.

Summer solstice is coming, Wednesday June 21. Looks like another reason to party for me. Anyone else in?

SWM seeking F

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

Single white male, racing age 25, seeks fitness for reunion and good times.
Where have you gone? I haven't seen much of you since early May. And even then, it was only fleeting. What happened to us? I thought we had something special, something unique. I guess not. Remember last year when we won some races? Those were great times. Granted they were just cat 3 races, but I thought that we had come a long way together and were ready to make the next step. It turns out you weren't, and so here I am all alone. I've worked so hard for us to have a chance to be together, and for what? I'd do anything to get you back. Please contact me if you're ever back around. Oh, and if you run into motivation or power (or perhaps real ultimate power - http://www.realultimatepower.net/) bring them along too. You know how much I've wanted a threesome or maybe more.

Rolla, Misery

I like Rolla. Seems like a fun place at times. Pretty hilly though, so my legs don't get along with the local surroundings too well. Route 66 bikes has an excellent location in town, with a nice deck out back for hanging out and watching the locals drag race each other from the stoplights. Free entertainment. Many thanks to Jim Felts and family for putting us up and feeding us some good food. If you ever go to cuba (mo), stop in at the Missouri Hick bbq restaurant and order a full rack of ribs. The food is good, and they'll put a signed polaroid of you on the wall for ordering a ful rack. You don't even have to finish your meal, just order it. Steve "you see, the thing is" Parks thoroughly enjoyed his full rack, two sides and buttered roll.

I am currently accepting donations for two (2) seperate business ventures that you (yes, YOU!!) can be a part of.
First, I would like to present you with an opportunity to get in on a new entertainment venue called "Meramec Taverns". Simply put I'm going to open up a bar as close to Meramec Caverns as possible. Might even make it subterranean just for kicks. We'll advertise in a similar (read near copy) fashion to Meramec Caverns' current billboard campaign. I hope to draw business from unhappy dads, local hicks, and people fresh off the water from a float trip that are already lubed up.
My second wonderful opportunity is to help in the creation of a fantastic new sub-species of dog to be named 'Qdoberman'. The description of this plan is simple while the execution may be a bit more complicated, given my current inexperience at playing god (or higher being or yahweh, or whatever the fuck you want to call it). Somehow I want to take a doberman dog and breed it so that it defecates fresh, foil wrapped Qdoba burritos. Think about it-a burrito factory in your own house!! Feed it anything, and the results are always tasty, foil wrapped burritos. It could be a long road with lots of trial and error, but if succesful the results could be gi-normous.

peace out, brown trout

Balance

When I was in college I worked a warehouse doing deliveries most of the time. This gave me plenty of time behind where all I had to do was point the truck where it needed to go and I could spend the rest of my energy thinking. At the time I was taking several philosophy classes and thinking about going after philosophy as a major. Not that I really paid attention in most classes or did much of the reading, or could connect a philospher with their main ideas anymore, but I was into the 'what is life about' and 'who are we' and 'how should we interact' type of thinking. I didn't waste any time at coffee shops or in deep conversations, but during my hours behind the steering wheel of a truck hauling heating and cooling supplies across the metro-east I was able to have long thought processes about life.

One of the main thoughts I had focused on equality. At the time I wanted to believe that all people were equal, or at least had equal potential. Not necessarily along the lines of all people were created equal type of constitutional rights belief, but just that no one person was really better than any other person when you looked at all aspects of each person. These thoughts pertained more to the potential and capabilities of a person rather than their previous actions. Of course murderers and rapists are not good, and people can be capable of very bad things. My thoughts were more along the lines of although one person may be an athlete and a scholar they might not be any more valuable a person than somebody who is a high school dropout that washes dishes at steak n shake. I wanted to believe that inside of that scholar and athlete there was something ugly or dirty that would knock them down a bit, and that inside of the dropout was something beatiful and valuable that not many if any people know about but would balance out his shortcomings in life. I felt that given the full spectrum of a persons attributes, no one person would be any better or worse than any other person. Everybody's potential would be a balance of good and bad. It's just that the full range of people's traits would rarely be seen. This was one of my philosophies at the time.

I am not completely sure why I came up with those thoughts. I don't know if I felt inadequate in my life, or if I wanted to think I could look at all people equally, or what. It's just something I thought about at the time, not necessarily something I beleive today. Nowadays I don't have as much of a philisophical view on life and people. The closest thing I use is the phrase 'everybody's people'. It's mainly just a rephrase of 'nobody's perfect'. I use it to show that everybody has messed something up, or makes several mistakes a day. Even that supemodel you drool over, or your waiter, or the dude who cut you off in traffic. All human. All making mistakes all the time, but often doing wonderful things for people that often go unrewarded.

Another phrase I like: You could build a thousand bridges and suck one dick, and you know what they'll call you? A cocksucker.

I always thought that was hilarious.

Lastly: Jelly Belly are the only jelly beans worth eating. The baked bean flavor is crazy. Crazier than buttered popcorn. I'm partial to red apple, watermelon, caramel apple, and kiwi as my current favorites.